Monday, January 18, 2010

The Birthday Knife.

Ok, I may be sharing a boat with a bunch of internationals here, but EVERYONE knows about the Birthday Knife, right?



You know - the one where you go to a Birthday Party and the mum puts aluminium foil around the handle of the cake-cutting knife to make it all "special". Everyone does that right?!!!

Apparently not.

Apparently only North Shore Sydney mum's do these kind of things for their kids. I was nearly laughed off the boat I tells ya.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

A bit too Cool.

Snowboarding is cool, right?



You get to wear cool brands, do wicked "toe-side" tricks and generally look awesome going down the slopes.

Not in Europe.

If i had a dollar for every grin of satisfaction I had from passing French Skiers as I had to sit on the snow and do up my bindings, I could BUY the damn resort. For every snowboarder I'd say there were 300 skiers. We just didn't exist.

It seems the barometer of cool has literally surpassed the European slopes.



And look, after four days of sitting on my backside and bearing the lengthy chairlifts, I think I've changed. BRANDARA is DEFINITELY a skier from now on.

Who? Me?



The word ANONYMOUS for me falls roughly in the same basket as MISCELLANEOUS - both a real bitch to spell correctly.

Now, I love nothing better than the guts of an anonymous comment. It's the internet people! No one is going to come-a-knocking at your doghouse door for owning up to an opinion!

Now don't get me wrong, I've certainly caused my fair share of uproar in message boards in my younger days (there was a Michael Franti incident where I went on his fansite and said something along the lines of "this dude thinks he's Jesus or something" which caused INSTANT responses. I then decided to make up another profile to "agree" with my original statement, only to find that the administrator had tracked my IP and posted for everyone to see that these two anonymous people are in fact, the same person) firmly standing for what I believe in but firmly refusing to identify myself...but you know, that's not for here.

Thankyou Anonymous!!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I want to run through the halls of my high school



So I had a thought today. It was the "oh hell I've been out of school for ten years" crisis. Having "un-friended" anyone who was even remotely connected to the suburb I went to school in, I have successfully managed to stay out of the stalking/invite loop.

Conveniently, being out of the country gives me a viable and mysterious reason for being M.I.A. I plan to send some random, strategic emails just prior to the event so at least some conversation can be had.

After all, I was the School Captain.

Conversations may include:

"Dara?! Yeah I heard she was in Slovakia, hiking through mountain ranges to reach those communities who still hadn't converted to the Euro yet"

or

"Dara? Didn't you see her on Oprah?"

Suggestions welcome.

Like Tom Cruise on a talk show couch



Let me just say here, that I feel f**king fabulous right now. I am on the Day 9 Detox High, otherwise known as "the complete unachievable long terms state for your body so enjoy this amazing feeling while it lasts" state.

No really, I feel like a superior human.

I am cleansed, I am enjoying the taste of brown rice and have embraced the dullness that is Daily Porridge.

I look at the plates of my fellow crew members and think, "Fools! Pass on my regards to your intestines who are about to digest that animal fat and, starch and refined sugar! I'll have the soup!".

It can't last though, surely. I've been having chocolate dreams all week.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

The vDara!

Look at this! A hotel with my name on it!



Nothing but Las Vagas, of course...

Thursday, January 7, 2010

It could only be mum...

I logged onto ninemsn today to find this image:



I better ring mum! I thought, I wonder if she knows about this?!...Of course, upon further inspection it turns out that the article was actually all about her. Of course...

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Detox to Retox.

It had to happen. I'm back on the detox bandwagon.



Turns out that endless supplies of whatever food Iwant, courtesy of the boat, has resulted in somewhat of a chocolate gut.

Currently on Day Two. This feeling is quite familiar. We are eating for nutrition only. Food is no fun anymore. Looking forward to Day Three which usually ends in tears and a mild tantrum, only needing a Freddo Frog to make it all go away...